I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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