WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
