question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
