i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
