if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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