respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
