y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
