I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
