The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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