This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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