I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
