So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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