On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
