The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
