I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
