There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
