look no pants
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
