and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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