The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
