the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
