She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
