you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
