bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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