It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize