you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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