Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
