I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
