Me. At least after what I've been through.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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