I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Alive.
So much puke
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
