mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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