Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
smell my finger.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
