I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
did i walk over a car last night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize