I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
