naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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