people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Couch. On fire.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
