i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
