I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
