meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
