You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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