dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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