Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize