question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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