Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
