Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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