i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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