why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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