i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
