I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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