i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
