I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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