they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize