Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
