i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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