I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
