We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
