Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
