shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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