What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
