okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i now understand why vodka
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
