Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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