I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
